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"Because in a few short minutes, we will be broadcast across the empire not just on television, but in several hundred movie theaters and on those two giant monitors in the temple proper. On close ups, our faces will be forty feet high. The slightest smirk or sneer or any other hint that we are capable of irony in this moment will instantly be blown up and distributed to the whole of the empire. So, I am trying to wrap myself in a shroud of solemnity that will deflect the twin demons of snark and sarcasm if they come looking for me."Corvus sighed and knelt next to her. "This place is so imposing, I don't think it would have occurred to me to smirk if you hadn't put the idea in my head." Better to think of it now than to have it hit you halfway up the aisle."Corvus clasped his hands in front of him. "I don't know if pretending to pray is going to help me avoid ironic thoughts. It will probably do just the opposite." He glanced over at her. "You are still an atheist. Aren't. 'Don't be so pathetic many men would be overjoyed to be dressing as a bride.' 'But I'm not many men,' I cried. 'Maybe not now but you will.' The two of them then grin like hyenas and I feel like a ten-year-old girl. Joyce, an old school friend, could remember coming to Mrs Rother's wedding so seeing the dress again was a delight yet when Mrs Rother explained who was to be the bride she roared with laughter and Mrs Rother looked at me with a cocktail of anger and contempt. 'You, my lady,' she said, 'are going to the church as the beautiful feminine bride whether you like it or not or this weddings off."Mrs Rother went to town with no half measures. To start she majestically selected a tiny pair of lace panties, matching bra, silk stockings and pretty suspenders. 'Is this necessary?' I said mildly, without looking up from the pile of expensive looking lingerie. 'All that you require is that I wear the wedding dress for a few hours, not become a complete woman.' 'Wrong, smartarse,' Mrs.
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